Want a Friend? Be a Friend

Dear Rose Park,

As another academic year is beginning for all our local schools, my own memories of elementary school are coming to the surface. I attended Lakeview Elementary on 32nd Street on the southside of town. Lakeview no longer exists; it first transitioned into a park, but it’s transitioned again into a housing development where driveways sit on what was once the playground. I can remember sitting on the carpet square in the gym (which also tripled as the cafeteria and auditorium). I can remember singing our school song led by Mrs. Vanderwall. I remember my teachers and our field trips, but what I remember most are those first days of a new year.

I remember asking my mom, “do I have any friends in my class this year?” and I can remember her reminding me and my older brothers: “If you want a friend, be a friend.” The phrase has stuck with me all my life. It’s profoundly simple and yet profoundly true. If you want a friend, be a friend. The only downfall to this phrase is that we unfortunately limit its truth and practice to school children. We tell our young students to share with others, be kind, play nice, and make room at the lunch table because that’s how you make friends. Unfortunately, for many of us, we don’t take this same mindset into adulthood.

But if you want a friend, be a friend. Imagine what might happen if all of us embodied this truth. I’d imagine each and every one of us desires to be included and invited, yet I’d also imagine many of us are waiting for the invitation. This potentially means that we are all silently waiting for an invitation, yet no one is taking the initiative to send an invitation. What if we were those people to take the initiative to make a friend? What if we were willing to risk it? What if we were willing to invite someone for coffee or lunch with no agenda other than spending time with them and getting to know them?

I know this has the possibility to cause anxiety and stress for some, but the alternative of slowly fading into an even more individualistic society where bathtubs are deeper than relationships is just as stressful. I hope and pray that Rose Park can be a place where relationships are formed, initiative is taken, and invitations are offered…because if you want a friend, be a friend.

Grace & Peace,

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Pastor Mark