Dear Rose Park,
Have you ever heard of a one-upper? A one-upper is that person who always has to best or top your comment, story, or experience. For example, if you said, “I’m having a pretty good day” a one-upper would say, “well I’m having an even better day.” Or if you said, “I really like my new car; I like the color and it runs really well” a one-upper would say, “well I really like my new car, new camper, and new boat; they are the perfect color, they look great in pictures, and they run absolutely perfectly.” Sometimes we call this bragging or showboating, but whatever you call it let’s be honest it’s just downright annoying.
What if there was a more faithful approach to having conversation? What if we were able to put aside our own insecurities and facades, take the spotlight off ourselves, and instead affirm the other person? Perhaps this is exactly what the Apostle Paul meant when he wrote to the church in Ephesus, “therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body…do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:25 & 29)
Being a one-upper doesn’t benefit those who listen, nor is it really that interesting. Perhaps if we are to be members of one body, then one of the greatest gifts we could give each other on this journey of life is a faithful conversation partner who desires to build you up. Think of it this way, is there anything more frustrating then trying to share your feelings or experiences with someone else and all they’re doing is making the conversation about themselves? What if we used words to ask deeper questions and affirm the other person. Imagine how much we might grow if we truly knew that the other person was listening and engaged in the conversation, not just thinking about what they want to say next.
Imagine if we spoke to our children, neighbors, siblings, and loved ones through affirmation looking to build them up. At Rose Park, it’s my hope and prayer that we might live into Paul’s encouragement and build a community who selflessly engages in conversation with those around us, because when we do we’ll be drawn closer to each other as we’re drawn closer to Him.
Grace & Peace,
Pastor Mark