Dear Rose Park,
This past Thursday I drove to Grand Rapids to the regional headquarters of the Reformed Church in America for a meeting entitled The Upper Room. The intent of this gathering was to invite pastors and church leaders to engage in conversation, ask questions, and overall be curious as it relates to the future of the Church. I recognized some familiar faces and even sat next to two pastors whom I went to seminary. After a few cups of coffee and some brief introductions, our host began the conversation.
As a brief sidenote, they called it The Upper Room because so many of us who are a part of the church are more than willing to have “lower room conversations” (e.g., programs, policies, etc.) and don’t engage in “upper room conversations” (e.g., the transcendence of God, the faithfulness of the Spirit, God’s eternal call for HIs people, etc.). It is the hope that by inviting leaders to engage in conversations around the permanent and unchanging nature of God we will be more prepared to navigate an ever-changing culture.
In this particular upper room conversation, our host asked us the question: do you dialogue, or do you debate? It’s in interesting question and one I would pose to you as well: do you dialogue with others, or do you simply debate with others? Meaning, when you are in conversation with someone, are you actively listening to what they are saying or are you simply waiting for them to stop talking so that you can speak your mind and tell them how they are wrong, and you are right. Don’t get me wrong, debate has its’ place but it’s a very small place and given the cultural landscape we’re currently in, I’m not sure the world needs anymore debate.
Perhaps what we need most is honest and curious dialogue. We need opportunities and the courage to embrace those opportunities with an open-mind and a sense of humility and curiosity. Imagine the progress that could be made if our politicians engaged in dialogue, not debate. Imagine the peace that could be established if our community leaders practiced dialogue, not debate. Imagine the love that could be shared if parents modeled dialogue and not debate to their children. Imagine the hope that could be instilled in our lives if the Church was a place where dialogue was graciously fostered in order to listen and speak with grace and truth.
This is all to say, I’d encourage you as you participate in conversations, would you consider adopting a posture of humility and curiosity in order to practice dialogue and not debate? Instead of trying to prove the other wrong by stating your case and poking holes in theirs, would you consider asking questions in order to empathize and learn?
I am deeply hopeful for the church, but I am deeply convicted that in order for the church to not only survive but also thrive it will take humble leaders who are far more willing to dialogue than they are willing to debate.
Grace & Peace,
